Posted on: March 7, 2008 11:58 pm

Career Advice for Brett: Stay Retired!

Congratulations Brett on 17 mostly spectacular seasons. But may I suggest a little advice? Don't come back. You got chewed out by the press in the last years of your career by the press for being too old, past your prime. This season you shut everyone up, don't go back and give them something to talk about. And really, Brett, you can't go back. Not after that teary-eyed farewell. I think that's the secret to Roger Clemens and his endless going back and forth like Anne Heche on her sexual preferences: He was never dramatic. You made a point to leave, so stay left.

For references on this advice, see Jerry Rice. A man who didn't quit when he was ahead. He didn't leave at the end of a great season. He left when the Broncos, who picked him up, told him he wasn't going to start. His old teammate Steve Young knew when to hang up the cleats. The result? Steve Young made it as a talking head and Jerry Rice went on Dancing With The Stars. You decide Brett what's best for you?

And I know there's pressure for the greats like you to come back, but seriously, don't. It's decisions like that that make us remember two Michael Jordans best summed up in two images. The first Michael Jordan: MJ mid air ball over his head and in his palm, appearing to be in flight like a legend. The second MJ: An old man playing for the Washington Wizards walking around after games with bags of ice strapped to his knees. Don't paint a second picture, Brett, stick to what you've got.

But I understand that you love the game and you'll want to be strapping up in the fall when everyone else is. Football is a part of you, but there are ways to handle that love without coming back. The past greats have all done it in different ways. John Elway-he bought himself a football team. Granted, an AFL team, but nonetheless a football team. Cal Ripken did the same when he got himself his own minor league team. The logo was a jet with his orange #8 and characteristic deep blue eyes. Come on Brett, doesn't Green Bay need an AFL team? But if that doesn't float your boat, you could do the more practical choice and land yourself a sweet job as a commentator with one of the football crews. Who can't see Brett knocking Jimmy Johnson into television retirement?

But whatever you do Brett, stay retired. Make sure a bad day for you is getting stuck in the water hazards, not being sacked ten times. You are a textbook case of quitting while your ahead. Make sur eyou keep it that way.
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